so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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