I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
