I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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