it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he fucked my hip out of place.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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