i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
