Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
