Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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