He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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