Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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