We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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