Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
