i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
