Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
