Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize