You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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