Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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