My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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