Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
