I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
