I love black thongs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
