Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
