what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
