but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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