he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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