so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My life is pants optional.
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