Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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