Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
