ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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