p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
