the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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