you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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