i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I would fuck him just for his dog
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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