she was so not down for the gang bang
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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