I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
