Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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