drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
