Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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