I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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