You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
