i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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