You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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