so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dignity is for republicans.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
