operation have a gay friend backfired
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You can't just leave with hair like that
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
