He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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