I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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