It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
