One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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