you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
