Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
