A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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