So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
