We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
