with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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