I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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